A man passed away and his soul ascended to the High Court to receive his judgment. In the blink of an eye, all of his good deeds and not-good deeds were downloaded on the screen (what did you think? People invented that stuff?) It seemed as if Satan was going to have a field day with this fellow's case…
Realizing that he was practically a dead duck, the guy jumped up and requested the right to speak. G-d said, "Why not?" and so the poor man was given a chance.
"Yes, it's true that I haven't been such a righteous individual and I don't quite deserve paradise. However, I have done one very noble act which I feel should tip the scales in my favor.
"I was driving my car around the city at about midnight, when, suddenly, I heard shouts and blood-curdling screams. I looked out of the window and saw a group of gangsters – and I mean the real four-hundred-pound-body-builder-totally-drugged-with-a-look-that-could-silence-a-hungry-lion type of guys – beating the life out of a nice, innocent young man.
"I couldn't bear to witness this atrocity, so I jumped out of my car and put on my boxing gloves while running with all my might toward the scene. With a scream of "Long live the Yankees," I approached the leader of the gang – at least he seemed to be the leader, judging by his bulging muscles and his 7'5" figure – and punched him in the face, grabbed him by the collar and screamed in his ear, "Listen, sonny: from now on you're taking orders from me! First, leave this kid alone. Then, follow me to the nearest police headquarters."
G-d was quite impressed by this act of courage. So he asked him, "Tell me, son: How long ago did this act of heroism take place?"
Without blinking an eye, the guy responded, "Oh, just a few minutes ago…"
